Week of 1/26/15 Part II

This video is indescribable.  Just watch.

TIME TO BONER (TTB): Approximately 1.5 views (5 minutes, 3 seconds)
BONER INTENSITY: 6.8
DISCOVERIES: The first viewing, I had a very difficult time focusing on trying to get a boner.  It's just such an intriguing video.  I laughed, I cried, I squirmed...it has it all.  The second go round, with the surprises all out of the way, I really had a chance to focus on the erotic aspects of women imitating horses in their underwear.  And it didn't take too long - at the end of the day, it's scantily clad women dancing.
WOULD I DO IT AGAIN: I'll definitely watch the video again at some point.  Only time will tell if this will lead to a boner.  As far as I know, this is the only video of its kind, so my options here are pretty limited.

Week of 1/26/15

"Women with saws".

Rules:Never allow yourself to forget or overlook the fact that the women have saws.

TIME TO BONER (TTB): 2 minutes, 16 seconds

BONER INTENSITY: 7.6

DISCOVERIES: Before we get into, I'd just like to say I was a little disappointed in the lack of saw variety I was able to find.  The vast majority of images featured a chainsaw, and I would have preferred to spice it up a bit.

Before heading into this I thought the TTB would be a bit higher, because my penis is very afraid of saws.  When wielded by a woman though (especially a hot one), it turns out this isn't such a big impediment to my boner-bility though.  What sent me over the edge was the final picture I posted here.  The spiral watermark over the eye, juxtaposed with the saw, gives the impression of a cyborg, and it turns out that I am REALLY into cyborgs.

WOULD I DO IT AGAIN: Yes.  Most likely with a focus on cyborgs.  Is there a female version of Ash from Evil Dead, with the chainsaw arm?

Week of 1/19/15

My task this week: watch this ten hour video until I get a boner.  I know what you're thinking - sexy beat + sexy reptiles = sexy boner.  IT'S NOT THAT EASY.

TIME TO BONER (TTB): 12 minutes, 46 seconds
BONER INTENSITY: 5.65
DISCOVERIES: If I'm into bestiality I can safely say that at least reptiles are off the menu.  I couldn't find anything boner inducing about the visual aspect of this video.  It wasn't until I'd been watching for about 6 minutes that I really started to connect the words and the visuals together.  I imagined myself inside the crocodile.  While initially this did little to help, eventually I forced myself to find the sexuality of being in an enclosed wet space.  Barely.
WOULD I DO IT AGAIN:  No, and I don't want to hear that fucking song ever again either.  Jesus fucking Christ.

Week of 1/12/15 Part II

A scary thing happens when you search google images for "big business": you get a lot of images of Bette Midler and Lily Tomlin from their 1988 movie of the same name.

After several horrified moments thinking "I'll never get a boner now!" I modified my search to exclude anything with the terms "movie" or "film", and voila!  My big business boner was born.  Here are some highlights.

And finally - the one that really helped me the most...

TIME TO BONER (TTB): 2 minutes, 29 seconds

BONER INTENSITY: 8.0

DISCOVERIES:  I kind of expected this.  As the short TTB would suggest I'm pretty turned on by several ideas encapsulated here.

• New Briefcases
• Lunch meetings
• Putting on a coat and tie
• Diving into a vault filled with coins

WOULD I DO IT AGAIN: No.  I'm scared of where it might lead me.  I might get a boner whenever I shake the hand of an important businessman - and that would be awkward.

Week of 1/12/15

In honor of being only 51 days away from Purim, this week's boner is brought to you by Synagogues.
Here's some examples of what I had to work with.

Full disclosure I was 3 beers deep when this attempt began.

TIME TO BONER (TTB): 14 minutes, 17 seconds

BONER INTENSITY: 8.3

DISCOVERIES: I'm not gonna lie, this one was a struggle.  But when it developed, boy did it develop with power!  You would think that since synagogues tend to have a certain "tit-like" quality, this TTB would be lower, but something about brick/stone is sexually off-putting.

WOULD I DO IT AGAIN:  Only if the synagogue was filled with Jewesses.

P.S. What is Purim?

Week of 1/5/15 PART II

After my success earlier in the week, I figured I'd try to knock things up a notch and challenge myself a bit for round 2.  Today's boner is brought to you by "Pouring cough syrup".
The majority of images looked very similar.  For reference, here's the one that put me over the top.

TIME TO BONER (TTB): 4 minutes, 58 seconds
BONER INTENSITY: 6.65
DISCOVERIES: I assumed that the main draw would be imagining the viscosity of the fluid, like a nice massage oil.  What it came down to in the end, was a bit more than this however.  The motion of the pouring liquid played a large role.  There were also moments when I tried to imagine putting my penis inside the cough medicine bottle, but, knowing the true size of a typical sample of said bottle, I couldn't suspend my disbelief.
WOULD I DO IT AGAIN:  I wouldn't try and get a boner by looking at images such as the one above, but I am almost definitely going to try pouring some cough syrup on my junk the next time I get a chance.

Week of 1/5/15

I figured I'd start off easy.  I googled "women of the great depression", and scrolled through images while trying to get a boner.
Some highlights:

TIME TO BONER (TTB): 2.5 minutes

BONER INTENSITY: 7.5

DISCOVERIES: It's nice to see that even down on their luck women can be sexy.  Who needs make-up, and slutty clothes when you have mental toughness and wisdom?

WOULD I DO IT AGAIN: Probably not - it seems a little perverse since all the women are sad...probably not healthy to be into "sad women".  I will say, I'd be willing to give "Gruff MILF porn" a serious look.

Introduction

Hello, and welcome to my blog "This Week's Boner".  What follows will be an odyssey of mind, body, and spirit.  My goal is simple: each week I will attempt to get (at least) one "weird boner".

What is a "weird boner", you ask?  I classify this as being an erection spawnned purely by something that I, the author, would not originally associate as being "sexy".  Take, for example, the simple telephone.  If this were the "boner-impetus du jour", so to speak, my goal would be to look at pictures, videos, and real-life telephones, and induce a boner by thinking about this object.  I would NOT think about sexy women using a telephone, etc.  I might think about fucking a telephone.  Who knows.

By the end of my journey, I hope to have accomplished many things. Expanded personal knowledge.  A firmer understanding of the fetishes of the world.  And potentially, the ability to get a boner on command.

Join me as I embark on this grand undertaking!